I can’t believe I opened with poop. Seriously, what is wrong with me?
Okay, so when you’re an aspiring author, here’s what you do – you write a query letter and in that letter you put forth your very best face. You don’t send a manuscript – well depending on the agent maybe the first 5-10 pages, but your query letter can make or break you.
And let’s be honest, it’s not even your whole letter: You’ve got maybe ten seconds, if you’re lucky, to capture the attention of the prospective agent. Show them your mad skilz as it were. Represent.
So what do I do? Well of course, I open with poop. In my defense, the agent in question mentioned poop in a recent blog post, so I was trying to be relevant. And since my book opens with a flabby expanse of a man’s backside, maybe it’s only appropriate.
I can hardly wait to see what I do for my next trick.
Assuming it’s relevant, this might be the best idea I’ve ever heard. You’ll instantly turn off any agent not right for your style, instantly turn on any agent who is, and probably get the attention of every agent you send it to.
[…] poop query failed. I know – it’s hard for me to believe too. So did another, more thoughtfully crafted […]
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[…] “You’ll destroy all my credibility,” I say. I’m just kidding. I never had any credibility. C’mon people, I opened with poop. […]