39 Shades of Facebook

HitList has 39 references to Facebook. Why? That’s not important right now. You may or may not know, I hate Facebook.

I shouldn’t.

I need to be out there, networking, getting in touch with long-losts and keeping up to date with my friends and family.

However, even if I could get over my social media phobia, I have another problem:

Facebook is not your friend.

Facebook is like that girl you went out with once in college who showed up at your dorm the next afternoon with home-baked cookies. Facebook is like that guy who wants to go out with you, who is overly familiar with your mother and knows what you wore to church last Sunday.

Not that long ago, I purchased some earplugs online. I sleep like a baby when I have in my earplugs, but I have freakishly small ear canals and the ones at the corner drugstore just plain hurt. So I found some online and purchased them. As soon as I did, there was Facebook, standing there, grinning, wanting to know if I wanted to tell all my friends about my fine purchase and my delicate ear canals.

Meddling, nosy, intrusive. Worse than my mother (sorry Mom) because Facebook wants to shout it to the world.

But more irritating than that, Facebook wants to help me. Facebook says–I know you’re looking for curtains, maybe you’d like these. Huh? What do you think? No? Maybe these instead.

I know Facebook has to pay the bills. A business model wrapped around all of us handholding and singing Kumbaya is not going to make the shareholders happy.

But still…

When I want to go where everyone knows my name, I don’t want it to be because they want to sell me window treatments.

Sigh. I need to get over it. I’ll try.

Next: Why I hate Twitter.