Gone Fool

Friday Fictioneer prompt courtesy Sandra Cook.

Friday Fictioneer prompt courtesy Sandra Cook.

Mama cut down the blackberry tree and let Daddy’s field go fallow.

“Always hated that thing,” she said. And it was true those berries weren’t much good for anything ‘cept getting fat robins drunk.

“Daddy put it in,” I said. But I knew it was a mistake.

She snorted. “Tree never did nothing worth preserving.”

She was right. The sweet ones always fell apart and stained my fingers red.

“Don’t eat them off the ground,” Mama always said. But those were sweetest.

It was all that was left of him.

Gone Fool, she called him. But he was just gone.

Another edition of the fabulous Friday Fictioneers, hosted by the generous Rochelle. To view more 100-word takes on the photo prompt, or to enter your own, click on the blue frog button.

get the InLinkz code

 

34 Comments

  1. Supremely elegant and deeply moving. You’re one heck of a writer.

    1. Aw, back at you, J Hardy.

  2. Beautifully done. And a great title too.

  3. Very impressive to pack that much depth in so few words.

  4. Great voice the Mother had. I could hear her speak.

  5. The absent dad seems very present here. Gone Fool, indeed.

  6. Very descriptive… I could almost taste those berries!
    Well done 🙂

  7. Amazing the richness and poignancy that you capture in so few words. Well done. Loved it.

    1. Very kind of you. Thank you!

  8. Great work, I really felt the character’s voices!

  9. I enjoyed this dialogue, I could hear it in my head, accents and all.

  10. Wonderfully done story of different members of a family having very different reactions to and memories of another member. I love the idea of drunk robins, BTW. 🙂

    janet

    1. Today the robins are drunk on spring 🙂 Thank you for the kind words.

  11. Great story. There’s something deep about the idea of the sweetest ones being the fallen ones.

    1. So very cool that you say that. And (in my head) it’s true about the dad but I hadn’t really realized I’d gotten it out until you pointed it out to me. Thanks David 🙂

  12. “And it was true those berries weren’t much good for anything ‘cept getting fat robins drunk.” I loved this line. Your writing is wonderful Karen. I agree with the others, you have said much in such a few words.

    1. Thank you for the kind words 🙂

  13. The practical mum and the child still missing his/her dad. Lovely!

  14. Dear Karen,

    I enjoyed the folksy voice that put me in the time and place. So much said about Daddy in few words. Well done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  15. Dear Karen,

    You are one of writers here whose stories and like the blackberries on the ground in your story. I will pick them up no matter where I find them, because they are sweet. Well done in every aspect. Well done.

    Aloha,

    Doug

    1. Doug that is even sweeter than blackberries on the ground. I’m really touched by your kind words.

  16. Great voice and very deep character development in so few words. A lovely read

  17. Love the word fallow. Very poetic…Patti Smithesque, a high compliment. Hard to be moving in so few words. Poetic brevity at its finest.

    1. Wow high praise. Thanks for your kind words, Susannah.

      1. I don’t like everything you know. I wasn’t just being nice. What’s the point of that?

  18. This mother really cuts the ties to her past relationship. There is so much story in there, I admire how you told it.

  19. One sweet,damaged, vulnerable; the other sour and hard (perhaps with good reason but even so…).
    Great stuff!

  20. What a wonderful story to tell about the father, where I feel you managed to capture three person’s story in just 100 words…

  21. Powerful. The boy’s grief and the complexity of his mother’s feelings are vividly portrayed.

  22. Beautiful, it’s so poetic. The amount of story you’ve packed into such a small amount of words is incredible.

  23. This is so poignant, so much said between the lines. Wonderfully done.

  24. I think the child’s memories will keep the father close. Mama not so much. Well done.

  25. Nice story about a child’s true love for her father, despite obvious obstacles. Very well rendered.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s