Broken Promises

PHOTO PROMPT - © Kent Bonham

PHOTO PROMPT – © Kent Bonham

It was where we said goodbye. Where he kissed me on the forehead and we made promises: me to be a good girl and him to be back Friday.

We didn’t even stay to wave goodbye. Mom had a meeting and when she dropped me off at Daisytowne she said, “I don’t know why you’re crying. It’s only three days. Why do you have to be such a brat?”

I couldn’t tell her I knew.

I counted the days anyway. They told us about the crash on Friday night.

After that, I didn’t even try to be a good girl.

This has been another edition of the fabulous Friday Fictioneers, hosted by The gracious Rochelle. This weeks photo courtesy Kent Bonham.

To enjoy more 100-word flash fiction entries based on the prompt, or to submit your own, click the froggy button:

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34 Comments

  1. Dear Karen,

    Excellent piece on how fragile our lives are. We never know from one day to the next, do we?

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  2. Hauntingly beautiful and sad. Great, great writing–lots going on in so few words.

  3. Is that a premonition?
    Good piece.

    1. I don’t know if it’s a premonition or just a kid who’s fearful and fatalistic (and unlucky enough to have her fears realized). Thanks Mick.

  4. Ooh, delicious tragedy!
    AnElephant loves this.

  5. Haunting and tragic. Great writing.

  6. Very nice. I like this story!

  7. Oh my. Wonder if she wishes she wasn’t so fatalistic a thinker now.

  8. And they call it the ‘gift’ of sight. Tearfully sad and very well written, Karen.

  9. I wonder whether we always have ‘premonitions’ like that, only we don’t register them until they’ve actually come true. Good story, Karen.

  10. A sad story written well in a few words to show life’s uncertainty.

  11. That’s hard for her. I wonder if that curse will stay with her. And poor mum.

  12. Sad story. It’s like the poor kiddie knew something was gong to happen.

  13. Nice writing. Was she being melodramatic, or did she sense something? As a teen I was kind of like that and I could never tell if I had “the gift” or was just being a drama princess (since graduated to a drama queen). Every instance of getting proven right just feeds the demon, though (whichever one it is)! And we conveniently forget about the times we got it wrong…

    1. Yeah! That is exactly what I was thinking/wondering myself, Lorna. Thanks for stopping by.

      1. Interesting that, as writers, we often wonder what the heck is going on with our characters! 😉

      2. You would think we would know better than anyone, but they seem to have minds of their own 🙂

      3. Absolutely, and only other writers could understand this. 🙂

  14. Yes, premonition or fear? Sometimes they are the same thing! And, as suggested, it’s the right “guesses” that strength the idea of premonition over fear.
    Great story. So tragic. If the little girl does have esp, I hope she gets to predict some nice things too.

  15. Oh what a tragic tale.. I guess there are those moments when life changes in an instant.. Somehow I like the sense of predestination …

  16. Very well done. A tale of clairvoyance, loss , and its impact all in one. There’s a lot that could be followed up upon if you so choose.

  17. Francesca Smith

    I wonder why though, if she knew, that she did not stop him?
    A very interesting tale.

  18. Tragic. The poor little girl – having to carry that knowledge. Wonderful details – ‘I counted the days anyway’, the mother’s impatience – great storytelling.

  19. This is both sad and haunting, and has lots of playful and interesting potential if she really has a gift for telling the future.
    Puts me in mind of Kate Atkinson’s Life after Life where the main character lives again and again and gradually realises what is going on – worth a (long) read if you haven’t come across it.

    1. That sounds interesting, I will have to put that on my list!

  20. What a tragic ending. A well written story.

  21. Sometimes we just know… I hope she doesn’t blame herself. Sad, but nevertheless great story.

  22. Ouch. Was it a premonition? If so, why count the days? A sad tale. Nice work.

  23. That’s probably one of the best things I’ve every read on FF. Great voice, poignant with an undercurrent of mystery. It really does tell a whole story in those 100 words, though I’d love to see what you could do if the characters had room to really breathe.

    1. Wow, I don’t deserve that kind of praise, but I’m glad you liked it. Really makes me feel great! Thanks for stopping by 🙂

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