“Tiffany’s elf brought her another present yesterday.”
“Que bueno, flacita.”
“Stormy’s elf writes letters. She brought one to school. It’s covered with glitter.” Her dark eyes shone with a sad longing.
I didn’t know what to say. Our elf was overworked and underpaid. Some elves baked cookies or staged hilarious tableaus. Our elf forgot to move on days I worked the late shift. I stroked her hair. “Well, our elf told me a secret.”
Her eyes went wide.
I cleared my throat. “Our elf said Santa’s coming to our house. Tomorrow.”
Her mouth fell open in a gasp. “Really?”
“That’s right hijita. He’s coming to meet you.”
“Oh,” she said, full of wonder.
As she hurried off to tidy her room, I wondered where I’d find a red suit and a white beard and a jolly man to wear them. For under twenty bucks. Two days before Christmas.
For those not familiar with the Elf on the Shelf craze, it’s a fifteen-inch tall stuffed ‘scout elf’ that comes to live at your home over the holidays. It’s mission is to gather intelligence. It’s a great tool for teaching your kids those important skills needed for living in a surveillance state. Plus, it fosters an environment of competitive elving in your child’s home and classroom. The Elf on the Shelf has been stirring up strife since 2005. If you’re looking to teach your kids that important lesson that “being good means gifts”, I suggest you buy one today. I can give you a good price, if you’re interested 😉