One Fresh Breeze

Juniper Trail – Manic © Chris Katie Google Maps

It wasn’t the act that Lorena so much objected to, as it was the filth and stench of some of the clientele. Though sporting could be fine thing with a man as handsome as Jake Spoon. It could be an unexpected thrill with a man as considerate as Gus. Sporting kept her in pretty dresses and French perfume. No, sporting was not the problem.

Lorena walked to the window and hoisted it as far as it would go. She lowered her face in front of it, closing her eyes; waiting. Waiting for anything…for something cool and fresh to blow the dust from this one-cattle-company town. It was hot enough to melt the shoes off a bay mare. By the time she opened her eyes, she decided. She’d trade all of it: the liberty, the freedom—even the celebrity and the fat wad of bills.

She’d trade it all for one fresh breeze.

150 words

This has been an edition of What Pegman Saw. To read more stories inspired by the prompt or to submit your own, click here.  Apologies to any Lonesome Dove fans out there. Apologies to anyone who hasn’t read/seen Lonesome Dove (who are no doubt mystified by this story). Also apologies for winding up further away than the location (Amarillo), which I didn’t realize until after I’d finished my story.


  1. Excellent piece of fan fiction. You capture McMurtry’s tone perfectly. As to the location, Texas is so huge that you’re bound to miss the exact region anyway. I think the Hat Creek boys did ride up through there, but it was a bit later in the novel.

    1. It’s been awhile since I read the book so I’m sure I missed on The Voice a little. But nice of you to say. Texas is huge.

  2. I’ve heard of “Lonesome Dove” but that’s about it. You did capture your protagonist’s personality and circumstances well in 150 words, so kudos.

  3. I haven’t read or seen Lonesome Dove, but I had no problem seeing this character and her situation and feelings in my mind even without out. Nicely penned prose!

    1. Thank you so much, Joy!

  4. No problem with Lonesome Dove – this story stands on its own perfectly well. You’ve caught the oppression of circumstance beautifully.

    1. Thanks for your kind words!

  5. I’ve never heard of Lonesome Dove, but I could feel this person’s sense of being trapped in this life and this place with the hot, cloying atmosphere.

    1. So glad it worked for you. Thanks for reading!

  6. Such a nice take on the photo prompt! 🙂

    1. Thanks for reading and commenting!

  7. I am not are what sporting is, Karen, but I can hazard a guess. Perhaps she should employ someone to waft her with a fan with that wad of cash?!! Nice to read your prose again after such an enforced absence.

    1. I’ll bet your guess is right. Thanks so much for reading and commenting Kelvin!

  8. I don’t know Lonesome Dove either, sorry. But I was thinking of the working girls in Deadwood as I read the narrative and am guessing I’m pretty close. Love that voice and the shades of feeling your narrator has between her clients – can’t imagine how awful that life could be at times. Nasty, dirty and violent. You conveyed her emotions well. Great story Karen

    1. Yes, she is a working girl for sure. Thanks for reading Lynn!

      1. My pleasure 🙂

  9. Dear Karen,

    I loved Lonesome Dove. The realism and acting were amazing. I loved the voice in this. Hot enough to melt the shoes off a bay mare. Great line! Gus was a gentleman in his own ornery way. 😉 Well written.



    1. Thanks Rochelle! I am glad to find a fellow fan of Lonesome Dove 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s